Thursday, 19 March 2015

Jellyfish Shampoo

And I still hear guitars in the air
as we sat in the sand...
Hollyann - Boston


Sometime in the late 80's, I would've been about 8 or 9, while we were on holiday in Italy visiting family and spending a lot of time at the beach, my dad came up with the idea of Jellyfish Shampoo. He'd be working on his tan in this pair of skintight Moschino shorts with a heart on them and must've had some kind of lightbulb moment. What's the opposite of an epiphany? I remember pop's craze that year was aromatherapy and i think he'd read somewhere that jellyfish had some properties that were good for your hair. My dad's a hairdresser, by the way. If you see pictures of me during that holiday you'd notice that my dad had been practising the Rod Stewart fashion-mullet on his youngest boy with mixed results. My head looked massively out of proportion with my tiny physique, about five times larger than the sun. Anyway, that summer we kept finding jellyfish washed up on the shore, and dad took some back to where we were staying and boiled them up in a saucepan with a bunch of sugar and some other shit. The result was sticky for sure, more like hair glue, but instead of actual glue it was a combination of jellyfish and sugar. Despite his having no knowledge of even basic chemistry he thought 'fuck it' and went with inspired guesswork. Jellyfish Shampoo was too batshit crazy to exist. Sometimes i think about it and have to hand it to him, he had the tenacity to try despite all logic. Other times i think, stupid.

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